Sex addicts - when they are active - live in extremes. When acting out addicts are too soft on themselves - too easy on themselves. They live outside of their values. They feel they can get away with anything - that they are “Masters of the Universe”.
When sex addicts are in the shame phase of the cycle they are too hard on themselves. They feel empty, worthless. They burn themselves with their shame brained thoughts and make themselves sit on too hard chairs. Too soft or too hard with no middle ground.
That's what active sex addicts do.
With recovery comes balance. Neither to hot nor too cold, but just right. Neither too soft or too hard, but just right.
See also: Balanced living