For a sex addict sex is more important than family, friends, and work. Sex becomes the organizing principle of addicts' lives. He is willing to sacrifice what they cherish most in order to preserve and continue their unhealthy behavior.
Enslavement
Isolation and superficiality
Part of the definition of addiction has to do with the issue of power and control.
We view dependence as something distasteful, immature, weak, immoral, and unnecessary, and we strive for independence in all areas of our lives.
As an addiction progresses, it gradually becomes more and more important in the addict's life. The sexual activity takes over center stage, and all the other things in the person's life move into the backstage or off the stage completely.
Even understanding that the consequences of their actions will be painful or have dire consequences does not stop addicts from acting out. They often seem to have a willfulness about their actions, and an attitude that says, I'll deal with the consequences when they come.
Addicts often try to control their behavior by creating external barriers to it. For example, some move to new neighborhood or city, hoping that a new environment removed from old affairs will help. Some think marriage will keep them from acting out. An exposer may buy a car in which it's difficult to act out while driving.
Others seeking control over their behavior try to immerse themselves in religion, only to find out that while religious compulsion may soothe their shame, it does not end their acting out.
Many go through periods of sexual anorexia during which they allow themselves -no sexual expression at all. Such efforts, however, only fuel the addiction.
Some addicts binge to the point of emotional exhaustion.
Inordinate amounts of time spent obtaining sex, being sexual, and recovering from sexual experiences
Two sets of activities organize sexual addicts' days. One involves obsessing about sex, time devoted to initiating sex, and actually being sexual. The second involves time spent dealing with the consequences of their acting out: lying, covering up, shortages of money, problems with their spouse (dishonesty), trouble at work, neglected children, and so on.
See also: unmanageability (consequences)