==
Addiction is a progressive disorder; addictions worsen over time, become more severe and eclipse more of the addict’s life. Eventually, what was once experienced as salvation becomes a prison. Life becomes very small and lonely.
The addiction offers diminishing returns; that is, the “high” decreases and the shame and emptiness increase. When the addict or loved ones try to understand it all, it’s elusive, it just doesn’t make sense.
“Contrary to enjoying sex as a self affirming source of physical pleasure, the addict has learned to rely on sex for comfort from pain, for nurturing or relief from stress” (Carnes).
==
Unhealthy sexual behaviors (inner circle, bottom line) have several things in common: they increase in frequency and severity under stress, they may initially distract from pain or extreme discomfort but then exacerbate the very things they're meant to alleviate and they tend to become more entrenched and extreme over time.
==
The relief that the sex addict gets from each new sexual experience/conquest is temporary and must be repeated with new partners or behaviors for a new sense of high, sexual excitement / thrill.
Sexual addiction is progressive and it rarely (never?) gets better if left untreated. Over time it gets more frequent and more extreme. At other times when it seems under control, the addict is merely engaging in one of the common traits of the disease process in which he switches from sexual release to the control of it - the control phase of the addiction.
The control phase inevitably breaks down over time and the addict is back in the behavior again, despite his promise to himself or others never to do it again.
When the ecstasy of the release is spent, the addict will feel remorse at his failure and will switch back to another “white knuckle” period of abstaining from the behavior until his resolve weakens again. Besides being addicted to sexual behavior, some sex addicts are also sexually codependent. These are the addicts who don’t really enjoy sex, but are involved in the sexual acts just to please their partners. They fear abandonment, so they don’t tell their partners that they are not enjoying the sex. Without help, this is the way the sexually addictive person lives life. Many addicts seek help but discontinue it or find it not helpful.
While addicts may be able to control themselves for a time, inevitably their addictive behaviors will return and quickly escalate to previous levels and beyond.
Some addicts begin adding additional acting out behaviors. Usually addicts will have three or more behaviors which play a key role in their addiction -- masturbation, affairs, and anonymous sex, for instance.
The emotional pain of withdrawal for sexual addicts can parallel the physical pain experienced by those withdrawing from opiate addiction.
==
Problems start with porn exposure in childhood or adolescence (8 years and older). The typical pattern is exposure to mild porn (accompanied by masturbation) early with increasing frequency of exposure.
followed by an increasing desensitization of the materials' pathology, escalation to increasingly aberrant and varied kinds of materials, and eventually to acting out the sexual fantasies they were exposed to.
=
The husband that begins a “harmless” cyber affair rationalizes that his activity will lead to nothing more, especially if his cyber partner is in another country.
A wife may rationalize that her online sexual activities are not really infidelity and besides, she needs the attention her cyber lover gives her. However, the power of the cyber affair once unleashed, can lead people who would otherwise be faithful to their mates to become obsessed with the intrigue offered by cybersex.
=
http://www.sexualrecovery.com/resources/articles/sexoffending.php
Sexual addiction has progressive features. Whereas some sex addicts may not progress beyond self-destructive behavior, i.e. compulsive masturbation, hustling, cruising, or the extensive use of pornography or phone and computer sex services, others may escalate to victimizing activities such as exhibitionism, voyeurism, obscene phone calls, child molestation, or rape. For some, sexual dependency may lead to more risky, intense, and exploitative acts. The lack of appropriate assessment and treatment of sexual addiction in its early stages may lead to failure to prevent more assaultive sexual acts.
Last update:
Tuesday, November 27, 2007.
Feedback - send an email to: