Most people underestimate the severity and intensity of the withdrawal for sex addicts.
It is hard to put down sex because it is so much a part of us (our sexuality is an essential part of our identity).
Another reason for the intensity of the withdrawal - length of the addiction - most sex addictions have their roots in adolescence, if not earlier.
Examples:
On a biological level, the sex addict's body, which is used to high levels of stimulation, begins to reestablish its metabolic balance when it goes through withdrawal.
The physical systems that are affected include eating, sleeping, concentration, energy level, body fluids, and nerves.
Usually the person will have an extreme reaction in one direction or the other - that is, in withdrawal, the sex addicts have periods where they go back and forth between extremes:
cannot eat or cannot stop eating
cannot sleep, or they cannot get out of bed and all they want to do is sleep
are unable to concentrate or they bury their head in work
have too much energy, cannot sit still, and are agitated and hyperactive, or they have no energy, cannot move
are sweaty or feel dried-up
feel like a "raw nerve" or they are strangely "numb."
Some experience other physical symptoms more commonly associated with drug or alcohol withdrawal, like increased or decreased heartbeat, nausea, vomiting, or muscle cramping. With their bodies going through all this, it is no wonder that many sex addicts feel like they are "going crazy" during withdrawal.
Dysphoria - a feeling of emotional and/or mental discomfort. Most addicts experience intense feelings of tension, anxiety, restlessness, irritability, anger, sadness, emptiness, boredom, hopelessness, helplessness, confusion, unhappiness, sadness, insecurity and depression.
These feelings may be very frightening and unnerving, especially if they are unexpected and overwhelming.
The psychological withdrawal involves a readjustment of the person's emotional and coping systems which are also out of balance. Moreover, there is a grief, loss, and mourning process that needs to be attended to since, in some ways, addiction has been the addict's "best friend" and most reliable companion.
On an emotional level, addicts seem to come out of an addiction either:
1) emotionally hypersensitive (namely, the "raw nerve"), or
2) emotionally dead (numb).
Addicts experience mood swings that include anxiety, anger, and depression, which may seem out of control at times, or else they do not feel anything.
Thoughts of suicide (it needs to be taken seriously - since the addict is quite vulnerable during the withdrawal period and is subject to unpredictable mood swings)
Not only does the sex addict feel like he cannot live without the addiction, but he will also be starting to feel unable to live with it either. The obvious choice, then, is suicide, and any threats or thoughts must be perceived as potentially fatal.
Depression is a frequent component of withdrawal (anger at the self, guilt, shame, embarrassment all aggravate the addict's depression)
Dangerous depressions, panic attacks, and rage are all part of the psychological withdrawal.
Mourning process begins: grief and loss.
There are periods of shock, denial, anger and bargaining ("if I can only masturbate, I will not go to any more bookstores"), blaming (for example, "It's all God's fault"), and eventually acceptance and a working through.
Feelings of worthlessness and guilt.
The withdrawal tends to last between one and three months but can be longer, depending on a number of variables: slips, the amount of support available, and the commitment of the addict.
based on www.slaafws.org
Abstinence from acting-out is initially followed by a period of withdrawal.
Time of withdrawal can be uncomfortable for many of us. Our bodies go through unexpected physical changes; our emotions hit highs and lows we never imagined possible.
We feel, perhaps for the first time ever, the void which we have sought to fill with our addiction.
Abstinence from acting-out on Bottom Line Behaviors opens us to the vulnerability we have desperately sought to avoid. This vulnerability is experienced differently by each of us.
The resulting withdrawal is sometimes recognized first by its symptoms:
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A sex addiction produces its own internal flood of good-feeling chemicals, and thus increases the number of receptor sites in the brain. When the addict goes into a period of abstinence, for whatever reason, his body will begin to have cravings because it has become used to a high level of stimulation.
See also: