Pornography

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Pornography in general

Not everyone who sees porn becomes addicted.

Some will "just" come away with toxic ideas about women, sex, marriage, and children.

Porn isn’t the only ingredient of this addiction. Usually there is some kind of emotional opening that allows the addiction to really grab hold.

Sex addiction has several ingredients, but one of the major ones is pornography and masturbation.

For a sex addict porn is a fraud because it promises something it doesn't deliver - he is using it to escape reality (the pain) but it actually makes the reality worse, it worsens the reality that he is trying to escape (read about shame, secrecy, dishonesty and double life).

Pornography addiction according to Irons and Schneider

Formal criteria have been suggested along lines strictly analogous to the [DSM] criteria for alcohol and other substance addictions. [1]. This article cites Goodman (1990), who compared the DSM criteria lists for various addictive disorders and derived these general characteristics:

• Recurrent failure to resist impulses to engage in a specified behavior
• Increasing sense of tension immediately prior to initiating the behavior
• Pleasure or relief at the time of engaging in the behavior
• At least five of the following:
  • Frequent preoccupation with the behavior or with activity that is preparatory to the behavior
  • Frequent engaging in the behavior to a greater extent or over a longer period than intended
  • Repeated efforts to reduce, control, or stop the behavior
  • A great deal of time spent in activities necessary for the behavior, engaging in the behavior, or recovering from its effects
  • Frequent engaging in the behavior when expected to fulfill occupational, academic, domestic or social obligations
  • Important social, occupational, or recreational activities given up or reduced because of the behavior
  • Continuation of the behavior despite knowledge of having a persistent or recurrent social, financial, psychological, or physical problem that is caused or exacerbated by the behavior
  • Tolerance: need to increase the intensity or frequency of the behavior in order to achieve the desired effect, or diminished effect with continued behavior of the same intensity
  • Restlessness or irritability if unable to engage in the behavior
• Some symptoms of the disturbance have persisted for at least one month, or have occurred repeatedly over a longer period of time

These criteria can be applied to almost any behavior, and would seem to characterize an excessive and uncontrollable involvement regardless of the particular behavior. They thus provide one possible definition of pornography addiction.

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Mark Schwartz, director of the Masters and Johnson clinic in St. Louis, Mo., says porn not only causes men to objectify women--seeing them as an assemblage of breasts, legs and buttocks--but also leads to a dependency on visual imagery for arousal. "Men become like computers, unable to be stimulated by the human beings beside them," he says. "The image of a lonely, isolated man masturbating to his computer is the Willy Loman metaphor of our decade."

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Most men use pornography in secret, and as long as it doesn't affect their relationships, some psychologist say that's O.K. "If a client is enjoying a healthy use of pornography without his wife's knowledge, I would counsel him not to tell her". Yet many therapists say such behavior creates a breach of trust. Spouses often view porn as a betrayal or even as adultery. The typical reaction when a woman discovers her husband's habit is shock and "How dare he?", many women "feel like they're not good enough. Otherwise, why would their mates be seeking this?"

See also: internet pornography

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