Intervention

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How to intervene on sexual addiction?

Sometimes the desire to preserve an important long-term relationship with spouse or children can act as the catalyst for addicts to admit their problem and seek help.

1. Take Control Of Your Fear!

An intervention is a positive confrontation, not a fight with your loved one. The goal is to get him help by getting him to agree to go into a treatment program.  Always remind yourself of the following when you become afraid of the intervention process:

• If you prolong doing an intervention to help your loved one, remember that the addiction will only get increasingly worse! The sooner you get this show on the road, the less chance there is the addict will harm himself or someone else. Moreover, the longer you wait to help him, the less chance there may be for a recovery and the tougher the intervention process may become!
• If you think perhaps someone else is better suited for the intervention, remember that you may have a better understanding of addiction. Also, fear has most likely stopped others who have noticed the destructive behavior from approaching you about doing something to help your loved one. If you truly love the person who needs your help and you believe he loves you, you may possess the needed motivation and leverage to organize an effective intervention.
• If you are afraid about planning something behind the addict's back, remember that the purpose of the intervention is to put all your cards out on the table. It is difficult do this without the intervention process! An intervention allows you to control the time and place to positively confront an addict, with the right people present to support you. While there is a chance that the addict may feel tricked by some of the deceit you will have to engage in prior to the intervention, this is not necessarily a giant obstacle if everything has been arranged in advance.

Decide who will participate in the drug intervention

The persons you invite  to the drug intervention should have personal experiences with your loved ones out-of-control behavior. Otherwise, there is no reason for their presence, other than to support you. You will find that anyone closely associated with the addict already witnessed some signs of the addiction.
When contacting people about doing a drug intervention, you may encounter some opposition from family and friends of the addict. While they may  have no trouble talking to you about the addiction problem,  they may fear speaking about it at the drug intervention because there is a risk it may end the relationship with the addict. To counter this, you need to educate all potential intervention participants about alcoholism and addiction. Tell them that  if nothing is done, your loved one's problem will get worse and he may die or may accidentally kill someone else.  Also explain that that their relationship with the addict will eventually be over  if the addict is allowed to carry on.

You may invite the following persons to the intervention:

• Friends and Associates:  It is a mistake to invite someone who is just an unimportant colleague or acquaintance.  The people who are invited to the intervention have to mean something to the addict. They have to be able to exert some leverage on the person. That's why it may be appropriate to invite his employer. If the addict realizes even his boss knows his work is suffering because of his erratic, destructive behavior, it may push him over the edge as far as wanting help.  Be sure you do not invite the people who help your loved one engage in the destructive behavior! This would be disastrous as the drug addict may think of the intervention as unjustified.
• Family members: His parents have to be there unless they are involved with addicts themselves or are emotionally unstable. Even if they live far away, you will find that they may have had a notion that something was not right with their son or daughter. The persons siblings can be invited as well. If he has children, you should invite them if they are mature enough to speak and tell their stories of "daddy being wasted”.
• An intervention specialist:  One of the  treatment centers you are planning to send the addict to after the intervention may be able to refer you to a good interventionist.  

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Last update: Thursday, February 15, 2007.  Feedback - send an email to: