Individual Therapy

Back to main page

Sex therapy is generally most effective at a later stage of treatment, in the second year and beyond.

Psychotherapy is often of significant value following primary treatment, especially ongoing therapy for shame, childhood trauma, false beliefs, and the consequences of past actions. In the early recovery period, sex addicts and their partners frequently have sexual and interpersonal difficulties, often to a greater degree than they had during the active addiction phase.

Sex therapy is generally most effective at a later stage of treatment, in the second year and beyond.

When treating patients with addictive sexual disorders, sex therapists may need to set aside some of their beliefs (for example, views on the desirability of masturbation).

It is important to carefully define and rigorously monitor the recovery boundaries of clients and of the professional-client relationship.

By the time sex addicts seek help, their marriage or relationship is often in great turmoil. Communication is lacking, and distrust, anger, and resentment are pervasive.

=

Individual therapeutic treatment of sex addiction has many advantages:

• One-to-one contact in the session provides the person with undivided attention
  There is no one else to compete with the person for the time or attention of the therapist. Many of our clients come from family environments where they were neglected or abused. Parental relationships were poor or destructive, and often sibling and peer relations were not much better. Their capacity for meaningful interpersonal relationships and intimacy has been severely compromised by their early developmental experiences. Their sex addictions have further damaged their ability to have a close, nonsexual contact with another human being. This essential skill needs to be nurtured and developed in the one-to-one contact of individual therapy.
• Help the sex addict experience the unconditional acceptance and love of a primary relationship (development is basic trust)
  In this context, the sex and love addict can learn to trust and to begin to open up to the world and relationships that previously had seemed so dangerous and complicated.
• The opportunity to reduce shame and to confront defenses.
  Sex addicts tend to come from families that are rigid about rules and distant in terms of expressing emotions. They can use shaming and guilt-inducing responses to control behaviors.
  Many SA come to treatment with an intense burden of shame that has them convinced they are bad, worthless people.  Confronting defenses is a frightening and difficult task, and requires a lot of trust and support. In the context of individual sessions, sex addicts can begin the process of examining and dismantling the defensive systems that they have built up over the years. Letting down the walls requires trust and safety.
  Sometimes sex addicts find this first in their Twelve Step meetings, where other addicts are sharing their most inner feelings and experiences in recovery.
  Others find safety and openness in their group therapy sessions. Some need the protection of the one-to-one therapeutic relationship, where they can be sure of acceptance and continuity of care in order to take an honest look at how they fool themselves and the rest of the world.
• Reduce the sex addict's character defects and to identify concurrent addictions.
  Addictions seem to foster certain character traits that may or may not have been present prior to the activation of the addictive process.
  Addicts typically are narcissistic, self-centered, and grandiose.
  Some have called addicts "his majesty the baby," because of the childlike demands of addicts for immediate gratification and the supremacy of their own needs over the needs of others.

Individual work can also identify and begin to deal with other addictions (cross-addictions), such as compulsive overwork, overeating, exercise dependence, religiosity or driven confessions, power problems, or issues with money. Many compulsive/addictive people struggle with many compulsive behaviors.

It is often the task of individual psychotherapy to address dual or multiple diagnoses. Therapist is looking at establishing a pattern of sobriety before delving into other issues. Sometimes, however, other problems are contributing to continued acting out.

Couples counseling by a therapist supportive of the sex-addiction treatment model can facilitate forgiveness and rebuilding of trust. Such counseling is unlikely to be effective, however, as long as the significant other persists in viewing himself/herself solely as the victim.

Significant others should be encouraged to obtain individual therapy to deal with their own dependence issues, codependency, fear of abandonment and low self-esteem.

See also:

Group therapy, couple therapy

Last update: Thursday, February 15, 2007.  Feedback - send an email to: