a four-step cycle marked by a preoccupation with sex, the ritualization of sexual behavior, engaging in sexually compulsive behavior, and feelings of despair that result from engaging in these behaviors. The cycle, according to Carnes, results in a state of unmanageability, much like addiction to mind altering substances. For the sex addict, their sexual experiences and the quest for euphoria become their most important human need.
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Addicts feel that sex is their most important need.
The sexual addiction cycle begins when emotional pain is triggered. This may be pain, sadness, fear, shame, anger, unresolved conflict, stress, or loneliness.
If the addict doesn't take care of the pain in a healthy way, he or she may move into the second stage of the cycle - disassociation. In this stage, the addict moves away from his or her feelings. A separation between thought and emotion occurs.
If an addict does not reconnect thought and feeling, the third stage - the altered state (called "a bubble" in twelve steps or trancelike state by professionals) begins. In this stage dissociation is so complete that sexual acting out makes sense. Euphoric expectations of acting out predominate in thoughts. Awareness of negative consequences is absent.
The person then moves on to the stage of ritual preparation to "act out". The preparatory rituals vary greatly among addicts. For instance, this may be cruising in the park, flipping channels looking for sexual stimulation, going to a bar or a bookstore.
The next stage is "acting out" behavior itself.
The final stage is merely the passage of time until the cycle begins again.
Emotional pain triggers the addictive cycle. One key to ending sexual addictive acting out is to work at the first stage. As addicts learn to deal with pain in healthy ways, the pull to move into the cycle reduces.
Another point of intervention is the second stage. Learning to recognize disassociation and then how to reconnect with self and feelings stops the cycle. Once dissociation advances to the altered state, addicts are usually unable see the danger. They enter denial and convince themselves that they will not act out, or that somehow it is okay to act out this time. Once someone is in this stage, they are riding a runaway train. It is difficult to stop.
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After acting out: feelings of shame, regret, remorse and anxiety. Sex addicts can feel alone, isolated and powerless to change their behavior. And so the cycle begins again, as they seek out sex as a way to escape these difficult feelings.
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The progression of untreated sexual addiction: the initiation phase is characterized by an exceptionally intense impact of observed or experienced sexual activities on the adolescent and young adult. At some point, sex becomes the "drug of choice," used to cope or escape.
Catalytic environments and catalytic experiences lead to the establishment phase, in which there is repetition of an addictive cycle. The four phases of this cycle consist of preoccupation, ritualization, and sexual acting out, followed by despair, shame and guilt -- which in turn are alleviated by renewed preoccupation. With time, the addiction may escalate, with greater intensity, more frequency, more risk, and greater loss of control.
Intermittently the behavior may de-escalate, at times by means of substituting another addictive behavior (such as a period of heavy drug use or workaholism), or it may progress to the acute phase in which the individual becomes alienated from significant others and is constantly preoccupied with the addiction cycle.
In some, the addiction becomes immutable, and acting out is limited only by opportunity, physical consequences, or incarceration.
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http://www.healthymind.com/s-cycle.html
Addictions act in a cyclical fashion. Both long and short term events lead a person to become very anxious (and usually depressed). This results in an agitated, or "toxic," state. Eventually one acts out--engages in the addictive behavior--in order to produce a high feeling and reduce the anxiety. However, acting out becomes a trigger for more acting out and the cycle continues.
Behaviors spiral out of control
Gradually involves:
Watch for...
Positive (these tend to be short-lived)
Negative
