Traditionally, when we think of sex addiction we think of men. Rarely do we hear news reports of women being arrested for sexually based offenses.
As once was the case with alcohol addiction, many people cannot accept the reality that women can become sexual addicts. One of the greatest problems facing female sexual addicts is convincing others that they have a legitimate problem.
Women tend to remain silent about their sexually compulsive behavior:
The term “sex addict” in describing compulsive sexual behaviors in women may not be appropriate. Many women who exhibit sexually compulsive behavior may do so in response to having been sexually abused, or having been victims of incest, and not because of an obsession with being sexual.
Because of the stigma associated with sex addiction, and the potential for being labeled a “slut”, “whore”, “nymphomaniac”, many women who do admit to compulsive sexual behavior may prefer to think of themselves as being “love addicts” or “relationship addicts” as opposed to sex addicts.
In the past - alcoholism was once considered a male oriented disease.
Perhaps as the stigma of sex addiction gives way to a better understanding of the needs of women in dealing with their sexual compulsivity, more women will admit that they indeed have problems in dealing with sexually compulsive behavior.
Try a telemeeting - these are phone meetings that occur everyday of the week, and are as easy as dialing a long distance number and entering a pass code.
The list of telemeetings and the phone number and code are available at http://www.saacall.com/meetings.htm and look for "Women only" meeting.
"Obsession, fantasy promiscuity, compulsive masturbation, use of pornography, exhibitionism, voyeurism, abusive sex with self or others, addictive relationships and/or other sexual acting out behaviors were quick fixes for the pain in our lives. These led, however to even more pain, shame, and isolation, in a vicious circle. In recovery we learn to break that cycle and to live a life of reality. We learn a completely new way of life, based on spiritual principles. We do not offer a quick fix or cure for addiction. We have found however, that as we embarked on the adventure of recovery, our compulsions and shame lessened, or were removed. One day at a time, we learned honesty, self love, integrity, and enjoyed the acceptance of love, and fellowship of those who understood us as few others could."
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Women are more likely to engage in sexual excesses that exploits power, either in gaining control over others or being a victim (fantasy sex, seductive role sex, trading sex, and pain exchange). Women sex addicts use sex for power, control, and attention.
Women, who generally prefer interactions and relationships, tend to access Internet chat rooms.
Men tended to objectify their partner and require little emotional involvement (internet porn, voyeurism, paying for sex, anonymous sex, exploitative sex, etc).
A Christian Message Board: http://www.blazinggrace.org/forums/forum22/
Dr. Patrick Carnes’ research has indicated that approximately 20% of those seeking help for sex addiction are female. This male female ratio is consistent with that found among recovering alcoholics.
http://www.sexualwholeness.com/isw/resources/7093/Farree2001.pdf
Female addicts often suffer a greater social stigma and inner shame than do
male addicts. Society promotes the stereotypes of “boys will be boys” and “good
girls don’t,” even while grooming females to play the coy seductress. Female
addicts may compartmentalize their sexually addicted self from the roles of
wife, mother, and Sunday school teacher. This type of denial, duplicity, or
splitting off only serves to strengthen the addiction, given the secrecy of a
double life.
Females tend to report greater shame or embarrassment than males, because of various cultural expressions like “boys will be boys”, but “good girls don’t….” And, thus far, professional help seems to be less available for female addicts than for male addicts.
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